Please, let me fuck your mom
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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