No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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