Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
