Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
