You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
