Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
