think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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