Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
