my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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