i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
