As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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