Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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