We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
