I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
