Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
