I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
