so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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