I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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