Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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