Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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