yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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