Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
