We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
