4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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