I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
