You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Blood and glitter go together right?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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