It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
