I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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