There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
