direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
