She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
