I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
