after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
