He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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