will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We are all done wearing pants today
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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