So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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