I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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