I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
