Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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