this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
