so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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