It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
