Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
