she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
