On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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