NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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