Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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