Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
