i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
