the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
