So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
