Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
