i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
