Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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