i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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