You just made me feel so damn special
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
