Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
