Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
