looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
