Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I could fuck to npr.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
