You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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