apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
