Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
