found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
