Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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