just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
